The Quotable Dale Gribble

King of the Hill is a great show. I enjoyed Bevis & Butthead as a kid, a cartoon by Mike Judge which was the precursor to King of the
Hill. I have to say that the latter is the better (and longer running) show. By far, my absolute favorite character in the show is Dale
Gribble! I have, therefore, compiled a list of my favorite Gribblisms:

(In court) DALE: Objection! Conjecture! Objecture!

(Hank presses a button on Dale's remote control)
DALE: There goes the mailbox.
HANK: You have an exploding mailbox?
DALE: That was YOUR mailbox. And yes, yes I do.

DALE: You know what the problem is? It's a Ford. You know what Ford stands for?
Fix It Again Tony.
HANK: Dale, that's a Fiat.

DALE: Oh my God, I'm out of cigs.
BOBBY: Mr. Gribble, who is your number one favorite hero?
DALE: You are if you get me some smokes.

(After being locked outside of the airport in the cold to catch a smoke)
KAHN: I look out the window of the airplane, and what do I see? A frozen Gribble.
DALE: The only thing that kept me going was my will... to smoke again.

DALE: I loved my dad like a father. And he betrayed me - like a betrayer.

(A phone conversation)
DALE: You don't know who I am, but I know where you live. And if you teach that class sex ed teacher, I will make you pay.
HANK: Dale, is that you?
DALE: Oh, hey, Hank. Can you put Peggy on the phone?
HANK: Peggy? It's for you. It's Dale.
PEGGY: Hello, Dale.
DALE: You don't know who I am, but I know where you live...

DALE: If all you're goin' on is my confession, forget it, I'm simply not credible.

DALE: Computers don't make errors. What they do, they do on purpose.

BANK TELLER: Mr. Gribble, most of the million dollar checks we get are jokes.
DALE: Your job sounds interesting!

DALE: You were on my list of trustables, and it's a very short list. I wasn't
even on it.

DALE: I'm an Indian. This explains why I love tobacco so much and hate the Federal Government so much.